Well, I am posting some of Trevor’s articles from his comms class. He never conducts the interviews, so he makes quotes up for me and his friends. According to Trevor’s Prof. he is the first one done with the articles and has the best grade (what the Prof. doesn’t know is that he doesn’t prepare).
This is Trevor - I am not extrememly proud of these articles–I whipped them up quickly so I could leave school and go home to Jace and Caci. But, Caci likes them, so we are posting them.
————————–
War in Iraq? or China?
PROVO-UT. Years in Iraq, scores of deaths, new political party, new crude-oil-agreements, new uncertainties, new terrorist camps, new threats, new arguments and debates, but one old reason…
The communist state of China, estimated, in the next 20 years, to use twice the energy in one day of what the entire world currently consumes in one month—believed by experts to become the economical powerhouse of the world in the next five years; and with the largest population on the planet and nuclear capabilities the United States is not only threatened (being the only remaining superpower), but her very plush lifestyle may be pushed off the map by a larger, heavier, stronger and more demanding regime. Unless we imperialistically take the one element needed to survive this ever-growing potentially astronomical-tidal shift of powers, the US will be buried alive in a dark avalanche of socialist-world-domination.
How do we secure this magical element? We’re America! We jump on oppurtunity–one such, a war, where the battlegrounds are directly above the most volatile and rich reserve of this “black” magic—the Middle Eastern States with all of her crude-oil.
This is a subject that few wish to speak candidly on because of the unstable nature of the debates surrounding it. Ironically, those that want the truth are the very ones that have made the truth impossible. They have done this by flooding the US with a sea of demand for political correctness which gives the illusion of “right” and “equality” and “tolerance” only masking the true face hidden from view.
“We’re in Iraq for democracy.” Right…and Bob and Tom in Massachusetts are just as “married” as my wife and I are.
Please don’t misunderstand – creating a democratically equal government in Iraq is good. Demanding at gunpoint that terrorists stand down from free countries is good. But the reality of the matter is that there are no oil-reserves in the middle African states – therefore, we choose to call the same sick genocidal regimes and massacres “Tribal Warfare.” Whereas, when this occurs where there is oil, we move in, take out what obstacles stand between us and the reservoirs of oil (usually this is the bad guy); then, in good Boy Scout fashion, we make the camp a little better than it looked when we arrived and never truly leave…after all, aren’t we the world police?
Like always, college students seem to see the world with their still “20/20″ vision. “I like my lifestyle and it is my government’s responsibility to secure that lifestyle for me and my children.” said Thor Hartwig, senior, studying Political Science. “China is our most imminent threat. Iraq is the key to winning the race.”
Contrary, many fellow students, though seeing the true nature of our current situation and recognizing its ugly value, nonetheless, feel remorse for our unofficial imperialism.
“I’m just happy that I can elect people whom I hope make God-fearing decisions. Heaven knows I would never ask to be put into a situation where I have to decide what is currently being decided in reference to Iraq and China.” said Caci Chapman, senior, majoring in Socio-Cultural Anthropology.
We might continue to lead our lives lethargically moving from one side of the debate then rolling to the other based on the whims of our moods and the writing style of the author of whatever article we read. We might even have a heavy opinion, but like Coolidge’s “educated derelicts” we won’t make a difference unless we act.
To the former, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” That’s Socrates. To the derelicts, no excuses, Beethoven was deaf. To the “make love not war” VW van dweller—to you I give respect for standing for what you believe; but, before you say another word or hold up another sign naked, try rationing your gasoline for a year, eating rice with your hands, go attempt to have a rational conversation with the Taliban and drop yourself in the midst of a suicidal terrorist camp. If you make it back – I’ll listen to why we should allow them to fly planes into our towers without immediate and decisive response.
Finally, to the Taliban-sympathizers… we’re coming to get you.
————————–
Global Warming? Not in Utah!
PROVO - With all the hype about globalwarming lately, one would think that we would be out in shorts and tank tops slurping down lemonade with those little umbrella straws—not so in Utah. No, Utah has been having one heck of wintertime; a winter even colder than in Nome, Ak. In fact, Utah isn’t alone! Two weeks ago there wasn’t a single spot between Fort Worth, TX and Anchorage, AK that was above freezing.
Yet, setting aside this immediate surmounting evidence, experts are claiming that the earth is getting warmer and warmer with each passing day. Interestingly, even government agencies are recognizing a trend leading us down the path to a tropical world. The EPA recently released its latest report stating that the average temperature trend from 1860 – 1900 compared with the trend of the last 40 years shows only a change of 1.4 °F warmer. And to add insult to injury, scientist claim that 1870 was the end of a minor ice age with temperatures colder than average globally!
So, despite all the horror stories, don’t worry too much about waking up in a pool of glacial run-off – more likely, you’ll first wake up in a sea of crude oil after the US gets done in the middle-east.
Even college students—historically, the radical “save the earth” via protest and drugs—are having a hard time stomaching the end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it-from-heat-stroke phenomenon.
“The earth has been undergoing its own ’seasonal’ changes for millions of years. We enter periods of extreme cold [Ice Ages, the last major one ended 10,000 years ago] and then enter a period of warmer weather,” said Caci Chapman, senior at BYU majoring in Socio-Cultural Anthropology. “This cycle will repeat itself. No need to fuss about it.”
So, until you can fish in your backyard in a pool of glacial flooding or Robert Redford changes the name of Sundance Ski Resort to Sundance Sandboard-like-in-the-Sahara-my-brotha-dude, don’t plan on cooking your meals via solar radiation flanking the o-zone. We’re all still alive, and most of us whiter and colder than we’d like to be.
Latest Comments
RSS